Dear G-Spot: Straight Talk about Sex and Love
Erotica novelist Zane's new advice book, Dear G-Spot: Straight Talk about Sex and Love, offers a glimpse of what it might be like to bang Zane herself--not just one of the protagonists from her stories--in a kinky-ass 20-page lust letter from a fan. But Zane saves all that juicy stuff for the end in an appendix of sorts, which includes the incredibly useful instructional material: "How to Really Fuck a Man," "How to Make Love to a Woman," "The Art of Masturbation," "Sex Games," and all the latest about the newest "Sex Toys." "Put on a `butterfly,'" she writes, addressing women. "And go work out at the gym; do some kickboxing with that bad boy on. You will never view life the same way again." Unfortunately, the first 170 pages consist of e-mails from fans soliciting advice about relationships, and much of it is quite banal. And her answers, while supportive, fall firmly along the lines of good common sense.
What you slowly get over the course of the book, though, is a magnificent portrait of the nymph. She likes men with normal-sized penises--seven-10 inches erect--because a man needs only hit the vagina walls, she claims, not "the bottom," in order to make a woman orgasm. And she loves anal. "Plenty of law-abiding professional people do the shit every day and love it," she writes.
Unfortunately, "How to Make Love to a Woman: Mind and Body" gets too preachy at times, and if her male reader had a hard-on at the beginning the chapter, it's surely gone by the middle. Of course, Zane knows how to whip that bad boy back up again and does finally get down to business: You must go down on her. Guys, the days when you were not required to go downtown are over. Zane shares some suggestions for newbies, like drinking warm tea while you feast and letting it trickle down her mound, sticking a Flintstones Push-Up pop in there and then slowly licking it off, or spelling out the alphabet on her clit.
Ladies can do the alphabet tonguing technique on a man as well, even spell out his name on it, she writes. She's got tonguing techniques down to a science and tells women (and men) to do tongue exercises every day--they're extremely specific strengthening exercises such as sticking your tongue out as far as you can and then pulling it back in, or trying to touch your nose with your tongue. Daily. (Zane loves oral, too.) As for swallowing, Zane writes, "Only about a third of women are willing to do that, and even fewer love doing it, like myself."