Baltimore likes to wrap its hot dogs in bologna. Why not? After all, hot dogs are bad for you. They're made out of who the hell knows what, the stuff inside of them was ground up and extruded into an unnatural tube, and there's the whole nitrite thing to preserve whatever's going on in there. Then they're just warmed up, and you eat them, and they are going to kill you. So yeah, fuck you Grim Reaper, give us a hot dog, and while you're at it, go ahead and wrap a piece of bologna around it. Or better yet, punk, hold the bologna and serve us a Coney Island courtesy of the
90-years-in-the-same-location G&A Restaurant in Highlandtown. A full-dress show dog, snugly nestled in a pliant, yielding bun, decorated with mustard, chopped onions, and a liberal blanket of tangy, oily ground-meat sauce. No relish, and for the love of God, no ketchup. If a hot dog is going to kill us, we choose to die happy at the hands of the Coney Island. Actually, we'll take two or three of 'em. Urp.