Even the veg-heads here at Baltimore's Most Ecosystem-Friendly Alternative Weekly recognize that there's a reason vegetarians are in the minority: Meat tastes good. (Why else would so many vegetarians worship the great god Boca Burger, the gold standard of meat-replication technology?) More to the point, meat is satisfying in that grunting, Cro-Mag way that, tragically, is hard to replicate without slaughtering our animal pals. Which is why we worship the great god Helmand. We've said it before in these pages: No one in this town makes vegetarian food that hits that grunting Cro-Mag chord like Mount Vernon's Afghan mainstay. When we find our steely vegetarian resolve wavering--and it happens--we treat the jones with mushroom lawand, musky, meaty fungi in a rich tomato sauce with spiced rice. Or spinach-stuffed baby eggplant. Or aushak (Afghan ravioli) in a nutty split-pea sauce. You can even make a soul-satisfying meal out of the vegetarian appetizers. (We recommend the eggplant and pumpkin.) Sure, you can get meat dishes here, and great ones, but why bother? At the Helmand, it's easy being green.

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