Wanna know more about Mink?

Pleasantly Plump

Your friend has every right to be proud of herself, PP. Losing 50 pounds took hard work, and friendship dictates that you give her some brag time; she’s earned it. Unfortunately, making a such a life change can turn some people into born-agains, missionaries obsessed with sharing their newly discovered secret of happiness with the world, whether the world wants to hear it or not. So, while she gets a few weeks (give or take a month) of monopolizing the conversation, when you start to feel like the next time she opens her mouth you’re going to stuff a Krispy Kreme in it, it’s time for you to speak up.

Tell her again how wonderful she looks and how glad you are that she’s happy, but that you’re happy with the way you are, and you wish she could be, too. If that’s too subtle, tell her you appreciate her concern for your welfare, but that if and when you decide to change your eating habits, you’d prefer to do it on your own, thank you. If none of that works, tell her that you love her, you don’t want to hurt her, but that getting rid of her big butt does not give her the right to become an oversized pain in yours.

I’ve been going to the same stylist for several years. He’s good, but he’s moved to a new, much nicer salon and raised his prices. He says it’s because he now has a bigger overhead, but it’s more than I can afford. It’s hard to find a hairdresser who does a consistently good job, so I’ve been putting it off, but the real problem is telling my current stylist that I’m leaving. When I told him that his rate increases were going to make it hard for me to see him as often, he gave me a smiling-but-stern mini-lecture about how looks are important, how the money I spend on my appearance is more an investment than a fee, and how good it is to pamper myself now and then. I agree on principle, but I wish he weren’t making it so hard for me. It’s embarrassing to admit that I can’t pay his new prices. Plus, although we’re not close friends, we do have a lot of mutual acquaintances. I know I’m going to run into him socially, so I don’t want to end things badly. What do you suggest?

Hairdresser Blues

A stylist is sort of like a therapist, HB. To do a good job, each must be privy to secrets, see you at your worst, and, by the end of the session, make you feel that your time and money were well spent. And, if either isn’t ready to end the relationship, they know buttons to push to try to make you stay. Just remember: It’s your money, and you can spend it where you want. Your stylist has a point about pampering, but if the cost stresses you out, the benefit is nil. And when the investment you’re making is actually funding the investment he’s making, you have the right to opt out. You’d be better off finding a less expensive hairdresser and treating yourself to an extra-long soak in a nice hot bath.

There are talented people everywhere, so start looking. Ask your friends, call various salons to get prices and see if they have someone who specializes in your hair type. You may be able to tell from just a few moments on the phone whether it’s someone you want to try. As for the guy you’re seeing now, adding a little white lie to the truth can ease the embarrassment. Tell him he’s the greatest, you’ll miss him, and you’ll recommend him to your friends, but that since 1) you’re saving for a new house, 2) you’re remodeling the house you’ve already got, or 3) you’ve fallen desperately in love with an 18-year-old who needs a new Harley, his new prices just don’t fit your new financial priorities.

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