Big Girls Do Cry
Sisters can be a lovely thing, BGDC, but they can also be a royal pain in the butt. I have several myself, and although I love them dearly, sometimes I wish we all didnít know each other quite so well; itís too easy to get under each otherís skin. We donít mean to most of the time; itís just that itís not always easy to recognize when weíre crossing the line from affectionate teasing into downright nastiness. And sometimes sisters are under the mistaken impression that the blood tie entitles them to make the kind of rude personal comments they would never make to friends or colleagues.
Even if your sisters think theyíre doing this for your own good, youíre a grownup, and you have the right to live the way you want. But, if your sisters are used to being able to get away with picking on you, itís up to you to change the pattern. Next time one of them takes a poke at you, tell her to chill out. Tell her you get her point and know sheís noticed youíve gained weight, but that since your health is fine (Iím assuming it is), you love the way you look, and your husband loves the way you look, it is none of her business, and she might as well keep her skinny-ass opinions to herself. Then smile sweetly and have another piece of pie.
When is the right age to start having sex? Iím 16, a junior in high school, and a virgin. A couple of my girlfriends have already had sex with their boyfriends, and they tell me itís fine to have sex now as long as Iím careful. They say itís the only way to prove how much you love your boyfriend. They also told me they like having sex, that it feels really good. My boyfriend and I have been dating for more than a year and we like to kiss, but heís never tried to do anything else and I didnít even think about doing more until my friends started telling me what they were doing. I do love him, but I donít think Iím ready to have sex yet. The only thing I hear from my parents and teachers is that itís never OK to have sex before marriage, but my friends say thatís just because they donít want us to get pregnant and have to drop out of school. I donít want people to think Iím a prude, but I donít want to do something Iíll regret later either.
The simple answer, VT, is that no matter what your friends are doing or saying, if you donít think youíre ready to have sex, youíre not. Your parents and teachers are right to be afraid youíll get pregnant, or that youíll get infected with a possibly deadly sexually transmitted disease; these are real dangers with consequences that could affect the rest of your life.
The more complicated answer is that the right time is different for everyone. Waiting for marriage is risky, because thereís always the chance you could get stuck with someone whoís really bad at it. And if youíve never known anyone else, you might not know the differenceóand believe me, there is a difference. It is, however, always a good idea to wait, not only for love, but also until you really want to. So while it may be too soon for you to actually do the deed, it is not too soon to get your facts straight. For instance, yes, it is possible to get pregnant the first time you have sex. And no, having the guy pull out before he ejaculates will not prevent pregnancy. And yes, it is as much the guyís responsibility as the galís to protect both of you. And no, having sex without a condom is not proof of real love. You may already know these things, but for answers to any other questions you may have, or for birth-control information and assistance, contact your local Planned Parenthood.
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