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Fat Chance

By Mink Stole | Posted 12/21/2005

I used to be skinny. When I was in my 20s people were always telling me how lucky I was to be able to eat anything I wanted without putting on a pound, but I felt bony and flat-chested and unfeminine. In the past few years, though, I’ve gained about 30 pounds, and I like it. My breasts and hips are fuller and rounder, and my ribs don’t stick out in the back. My husband likes it, too. The problem is my two older—and thinner—sisters, who can’t seem to stop telling me how “heavy” I’m getting. We live near each other, our families get together a lot, and they’ve taken to monitoring my eating habits. If they see me enjoying a sandwich, they’ll roll their eyes and warn me that bread is “loaded with carbs.” If they’re serving dessert they offer me “just a tiny bit.” They particularly seem to enjoy making these comments when there are nonfamily guests. I’ve told them I’m happy with my new body, and my mom and husband tell them I look better this way, but they won’t stop until I’m near tears. How can I get them to leave me alone?

Big Girls Do Cry

Sisters can be a lovely thing, BGDC, but they can also be a royal pain in the butt. I have several myself, and although I love them dearly, sometimes I wish we all didn’t know each other quite so well; it’s too easy to get under each other’s skin. We don’t mean to most of the time; it’s just that it’s not always easy to recognize when we’re crossing the line from affectionate teasing into downright nastiness. And sometimes sisters are under the mistaken impression that the blood tie entitles them to make the kind of rude personal comments they would never make to friends or colleagues.

Even if your sisters think they’re doing this for your own good, you’re a grownup, and you have the right to live the way you want. But, if your sisters are used to being able to get away with picking on you, it’s up to you to change the pattern. Next time one of them takes a poke at you, tell her to chill out. Tell her you get her point and know she’s noticed you’ve gained weight, but that since your health is fine (I’m assuming it is), you love the way you look, and your husband loves the way you look, it is none of her business, and she might as well keep her skinny-ass opinions to herself. Then smile sweetly and have another piece of pie.

 

When is the right age to start having sex? I’m 16, a junior in high school, and a virgin. A couple of my girlfriends have already had sex with their boyfriends, and they tell me it’s fine to have sex now as long as I’m careful. They say it’s the only way to prove how much you love your boyfriend. They also told me they like having sex, that it feels really good. My boyfriend and I have been dating for more than a year and we like to kiss, but he’s never tried to do anything else and I didn’t even think about doing more until my friends started telling me what they were doing. I do love him, but I don’t think I’m ready to have sex yet. The only thing I hear from my parents and teachers is that it’s never OK to have sex before marriage, but my friends say that’s just because they don’t want us to get pregnant and have to drop out of school. I don’t want people to think I’m a prude, but I don’t want to do something I’ll regret later either.

Virgin Teen

The simple answer, VT, is that no matter what your friends are doing or saying, if you don’t think you’re ready to have sex, you’re not. Your parents and teachers are right to be afraid you’ll get pregnant, or that you’ll get infected with a possibly deadly sexually transmitted disease; these are real dangers with consequences that could affect the rest of your life.

The more complicated answer is that the right time is different for everyone. Waiting for marriage is risky, because there’s always the chance you could get stuck with someone who’s really bad at it. And if you’ve never known anyone else, you might not know the difference—and believe me, there is a difference. It is, however, always a good idea to wait, not only for love, but also until you really want to. So while it may be too soon for you to actually do the deed, it is not too soon to get your facts straight. For instance, yes, it is possible to get pregnant the first time you have sex. And no, having the guy pull out before he ejaculates will not prevent pregnancy. And yes, it is as much the guy’s responsibility as the gal’s to protect both of you. And no, having sex without a condom is not proof of real love. You may already know these things, but for answers to any other questions you may have, or for birth-control information and assistance, contact your local Planned Parenthood.

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Pick and Choose (4/12/2006)
First of all, homosexuality isn’t like snake handling or Catholicism; it isn’t a cult or a religion you can be recruited for or converted to.

Territorial Rites (4/5/2006)

Family Guy (3/15/2006)

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