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Wondering Willie

You’re caught in that ol’ vortex of pain and pleasure, pleasure and pain, WW, one moment thrilled and relieved that you’re destined to see him every single night for the play’s whole wonderful run and the next devastatingly aware that every single night you could be suffering the torments of unrequited passion. OK, so that’s mildly overblown, but hey, if we actors can’t indulge in a teensy bit of melodrama on occasion, who can?

I once worked with someone who’d broken my heart, and the worst of it was trying not to let it affect either my performance or the rest of the company, which meant forgoing the comfort of an on-set confidante, but which was vital for protecting my pride as well as the production. I’m not sure that Ryan actually broke your heart, but he ended something you would have continued, and that’s close enough. It will probably be impossible not to be constantly aware of him, so you’ll have to endure that, but unless you’re willing to risk rejection while you’re still working together, it would be better to wait until the play closes before initiating any you-should-know-how-I-feel confrontation, if then. In the meantime, be friendly, but not too eager, and observe how he acts around you. If he’s merely cordial, start working toward getting over him. But, in light of his past willingness to walk away, if he’s especially attentive or flirtatious, you may consider that an invitation to a conversation about his future intentions.

I’m 21, a senior in college with a high grade-point average. I plan to earn an MBA and eventually work in international banking, but my folks treat me like I have no sense. I still live at home, because they want me to and it’s cheaper, but it makes a real relationship impossible. They’re convinced that any romantic involvement before I’ve graduated would be disastrous. They haven’t said so, but they’re afraid I’ll get pregnant and have to quit school and throw away my future. I’m the first person in my family to go to college, and they’ve scrimped all my life to pay for it, so there’s pressure on me to make good. The problem is I’m in love. I met Harry last year when he was a senior, and we’ve had a sort of secret relationship since then. My parents know we’re friends, but they don’t know how deeply we care for each other. I thought it would be easier if we kept our relationship under wraps, but the secrecy has finally gotten to Harry. He knows my family is important to me, but he says he is tired of being my guilty secret and is too old to be sneaking out on dates. He’s right, of course, but I don’t want to upset my parents. I don’t want to lose him either.

Nowhere to Turn

Our parents are the best and the worst things that ever happen to most of us, NTT, and yours are no exception. And in your case, all the sacrifices they’ve made for you can make even your tiniest complaint seem the hugest ingratitude. Your worst fear is that your parents would want you to give Harry up. But because Harry says he’s leaving you if you don’t tell them, you’ve got nothing to lose by coming clean. Don’t expect them to celebrate the fact that you’ve been lying to them, but if you can honestly reassure them that you’ve no plans to quit school, and are determined to let nothing stand in the way of your career, overcoming their objections is possible. Tell them you mean no disrespect, but since you’ve managed to keep a relationship going for a year and kept up your studies, you’ve proved you can manage both. Tell them you don’t want to lie to them anymore and neither does Harry. Tell them you appreciate everything they’re doing for you, but that learning about love is part of your education, and you want your whole life to be successful, not just your work life. Then, just to be sure you don’t get unexpectedly sidetracked, if you are having sex, always make it safe.

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