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Why We Go: Very little in life is more comforting than the dark and wooden womb of Bertha's barroom.

What We Eat: Mussels, obviously, with one or two of the seven dipping sauces, and the sweet, messy Scottish trifle for dessert.

What We'd Change: One can't live on mussels alone, so the kitchen has got to show a little life. The oyster stew, for example, is basically hot milk and oysters, which are actually large, fat, sweet, and wasted in it.