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When thinking dinner in Mount Vernon, Coconuts Café probably isn’t on your list. But if you’re looking for stick-to-your-ribs bar food, it should be. The cop bar-turned-lesbian clubhouse has a fairly extensive menu with the usual mozzarella sticks, potato skins, and hamburgers. What makes Coconuts’ menu stand out—besides the Big Breasts section—is a wide variety of chicken wings. The 10 flavors vary from Cajun to Chesapeake Bay and from the simple Original Buffalo to the less conventional Ranch and Salsa. And these aren’t anemic little wings, either; these are meaty mutant birds that make a small order (10 wings, $6.95) hard to finish and the large (20 wings, $11.95) impossible to contemplate. While generous, the deliciousness levels are hit and miss. The Buffalo Garlic has a nice sauce with some kick that doesn’t make your mouth feel punished, but the chopped garlic on top is a bit much. And the accouterments are fine but unexciting: nice, thick celery chunks but fairly bland blue cheese. Fortunately, the Honey Mustard wings don’t need accessories. A perfect mixture of sweet and spicy, these babies could win over even the most reluctant chicken-on-the-bone eater. One word of caution, though: Don’t take a date to eat wings at Coconuts unless you’re sure he or she finds sticky hands and barbecue-sauce mustaches sexy.

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