Snakes on a Plane
Director David Ellis and Samuel L. Jackson restore your faith in unmitigated bullshit with the pure trash concept and gleeful B-movie delivery of its titular promise. Renegade hard-ass FBI agent Neville Flynn (Jackson) has to take a witness (Nathan Phillips) from Hawaii to Los Angeles to testify against merciless crime lord Eddie Kim (Byron Lawson). Kim couldnít off the witness prior to transport, so he plants a crate of slithering death aboard their red-eye flight and douses the passengersí departing leis with pheromones to make the snakes go batshit. The setup takes maybe 20 minutes, the rest is Jackson and the rest of the potential snake feed--Julianna Margulies, Rachel Blanchard, Kenan Thompson, Sunny Mabrey, some no-name white dudes--trying to stay alive. The biting comes steadily and creatively--fangs hit every highly sensitive body part, from throat to boob to crotch to, freak-me-out ouch, eyelid--and, of course, you get some blurry snake-vision cam to peep what the snakes see when heading toward the woman screaming in the aisle. Pure crap hasnít been this entertaining since the 2003 State of the Union Address--and make sure to stay for the credits and their asininely stupid mock music video.