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Based on the teen novel by Annette Curtis Klause, Blood and Chocolate is pretty much the B-movie cousin of Underworld-except without a budget for special effects, Kate Beckinsale, or even one scare to make up for the first two shortcomings. In fact, if you blur the finer details, it even has Underworld's lame story: a young creature of the night (in this case a werewolf, played by Agnes Bruckner) defies her pack to love a mere human (Hugh Dancy). This Romeo-and-Juliet mismatch even occurs in the midst of a war between the "loups-garoux" (that's fancy for werewolf) and their "meat" (as werewolves call humans), kind of like Underworld's love story. It's so soulless and contrived that the movie desperately needs FX, sex, or real jump-out-of-your seat moments to overlook the fact that it should have went directly to video. The budget is so modest, in fact, that the werewolf transformations simply require men to leap and, in a flash of light, land as actual wolves. Bruckner offers none of the sexuality that Beckinsale and her vinyl getups did. And there's not even the illusion of suspense or scares here. Consequently, Blood and Chocolate has less bite than Marv Albert.