Balls of Fury
Easily the worst movie of the summer, Balls of Fury makes a strong case for worst movie of the year, Christopher Walken's halfhearted blessing notwithstanding. When FBI agent Ernie Rodriquez (George Lopez) asks has-been Olympian Randy Daytona (Dan Fogler) to infiltrate crime lord Feng's (Walken) Ping-Pong championship, Randy reluctantly agrees, only to find his skills rusty. To shape him up, Rodriquez submits him to blind Master Wong (James Hong), who alternately locks him in a room with angry bees and a room with his obligatorily attractive, macho niece (Maggie Q). Part sports spoof, part martial-arts parody, and part crime comedy, the movie succeeds as none of them, recycling tired jokes from other (equally awful) movies and repeating them ad nauseam. Balls appears to be titled not after the Ping-Pong variety but Randy's, as the bumbling script offers little more than mashed testicles for laughs. Fogler, beyond lacking comic timing or acting ability, inspires no sympathy whatsoever, no matter how many men, women, and children beat the crap out of him. Perhaps most shameful is that writer/director Robert Ben Garant, a veteran of screwball comedy, can't even make Christopher Walken in drag funny. Walken does sing karaoke in the closing credits, though--if you can last that long.