Overwhelming action can't cover up movie's faults
Everyone loves a good shoot-’em-up flick, but there’s a limit to how much of this CGI-explosive shit you can take. The Losers continues in this vein, so perhaps it’s not for the weak at heart. Based on a comic series of the same name, it follows the story of--who else?--the Losers: a group of misfit super-soldiers that get blamed when a secret mission goes horribly wrong. What follows is 98 minutes of raw action in which the ragtag team seeks revenge for its misfortunes while trying to stop bad guy Max (Jason Patric) from destroying the world, all of this amid cheap banter and not-so-subtle ass shots of Zoe Saldana.
The cast includes some faces you might recognize, fringe stars such as Idris Elba (The Wire's Stringer Bell), who plays demolitions expert Roque, as well as Brad Garrett/Robert Downey Jr. look-alike Jeffrey Dean Morgan as the team's gruff leader, Clay. Alongside Clay and Roque are Jensen (Chris Evans), the quirky techie who doesn't quite fit his geeky mold thanks to an overly muscular physique; Pooch (Columbus Short); and, finally, soft-spoken hit man Cougar (Óscar Jaenada). But The Losers's spotlight shines on Saldana as Aisha, the RPG-toting seductress who manages to set hearts aflame with her sauntering and strangely erotic propensity for violence. The movie's rated PG-13, so pervy teens may be dying for a few glimpses of what Aisha is hiding behind that rocket launcher.
And while you might get a few giggles from the team's eccentricities--such as Jensen's passion in following his niece's 6-and-under soccer team, the Petunias--and you may even enjoy the few witty comments by Max as he always stays one step ahead of the Losers, but ultimately the movie's loose plotline is as riddled with holes as the villains. Maybe if director Sylvain White spent more time on development and didn't toss you head-first into this insanity-crazed journey, it would be worth watching. Instead, you're thrown around and around on a rather confusing trip that transports the Losers to all corners of the world without any real need for a change in setting.
If you're looking for one of those action-packed-no-fuckin'-way-testosterone-fueled orgies that overcrowd the silver screens these days, then The Losers may be the best way to spend your Friday night. But don't expect much explanation as to why, exactly, these guys are blowing up anything and everything that comes their way. And yes, unfortunately, there will probably be a sequel.