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By Ian Grey | Posted

Based on the influence coleslaw that is Underworld, director Len Wiseman seems sure that if you steal from enough sources at high enough velocity, you'll end up with something original. He's sort of right: Underworld is so generic in its approach to genre that it's almost invisible. Looking like a longhaired Carrie-Anne Moss, from The Matrix movies, Kate Beckinsale plays Selene, a vampire who's part of a gothy vampire nation similar to the Vampire Nation of the Blade films, but with no reason for existing aside from looking gothy. As in the games Vampire: The Masquerade® and Werewolf: The Apocalypse® (whose publisher is suing Sony for copyright infringement), the vampires battle a werewolf tribe for reasons left unexplained until a last-reel bid for Underworld Deux. Wiseman assumes that fans of the aforementioned sources (and Batman, Hellraiser, Dark City, and more) will salivate at the thought of seeing them again accompanied by sub-Audioslave metal. Prove him wrong.

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