The Sweetest Thing
Superdippy San Francisco blond Christina (Cameron Diaz) lives the unfettered life of the glamorously underemployed. Her dark-haired friends include catty, va-va-voom Courtney (Christina Applegate, never more vacuously rodentlike) and sex-crazed but naive Jane (Selma Blair, filmed in a distressing manner that suggests a more annoying Neve Campbell). Although Christina's brunettes are sidelined by the occasional penis stuck in the esophagus and trapped in a city speckled with mincing queers, they endeavor to land her a wealthy human zero named Peter (Thomas Jane) who lives in a perfect small town where, the film joshes, There Are No Jews. Directed by Roger Kumble, a former soft-core hack (Unveiled) turned mainstream incompetent (Cruel Intentions), The Sweetest Thing is a yuppie continuation of Van Wilder-level frat gross-outs, arguing that hot babes are just as vapid, infantile, and charmed by gutter-yucks humor as men. The only difference, give or take an implant or two, is that they're much thinner.