With a setup (three friends drive cross-country) doing service as plot, Crossroads packages Britney Spears as Lucy, a chipper blond who worries she may be too smart and whose mom (Kim Cattrall) has abandoned her because she thinks Lucy is white trash. (No irony is sounded.) The film opens on Britney's BVD-clad booty in a suspected attempt to appeal to a significant faction of her hard-core fan base--older men with fast Internet connections. Lucy's black friend, Kit (Zoe Saldana), redefines civil rights and feminism when, in reference to manual stimulation, she re-imagines James Brown by boasting, "Say it loud--I touched it and I'm proud!" Womanhood is likewise defined as a highly desirable state only entered into by sexual intercourse with a not very bright male. After the screening, a 40-ish woman walking next to me opined that this was the perfect movie for a 10-year-old girl. She's right.