Writer/director Daniel Cohen's debut feature is a small film with small ambitions--so why does it feel like such a large waste of time? Aging, dignified Robert Forster (doomed by Jackie Brown to only play roles defined by those traits) stars as Eddie Miller, a traveling diamond salesperson getting fazed out by his company after 30 years and one heart attack. As further penance he must train attractive, superficial Bobby Walker (Donnie Wahlberg)--who grates on Forster's nerves by playing loud rock music and wooing attractive, superficial women--to take over his route. Along the way, two hookers with hearts of gold (played by Jasmine Guy and Bess Armstrong) pop up. And if it surprises you that these two "polar opposites" eventually become buddies, then it might surprise you that someone eventually tries to steal some diamonds, and that Donnie Wahlberg is much less charismatic than younger brother Mark. Otherwise, take Diamond Men as further evidence that our cinematic standards have sunk low enough that shockingly predictable films are regularly rewarded for their competency with accolades befitting genuinely fresh films.