Sign up for our newsletters   

Baltimore City Paper home.

film Home > Movie Reviews

Film Clips



Director:Jonathan Frakes
Cast:Bill Paxton, Anthony Edwards, Sophia Myles, Ron Cook, Ben Kingsley
Screen Writer:Jonathan Frakes
Genre:Action, Family, Science fiction

By Joe MacLeod | Posted 7/28/2004

Based on a stylish British kids teevee show that had all these creepy English puppets (with real-live human hands used in all of the closeups that involved hands) flying futuristic rescue rocket ships and stuff, and yeah, we all know a lot of those so-called kid shows were made and being watched by adults, some of whom are still geekin’ on this shit, but that doesn’t explain why they subjected Vanessa Anne Hudgens (Thirteen), an adolescent actress (or at least an actress playing an adolescent) in the role of, uh, Tin-Tin, to a completely inappropriate Hollywood-style nipple check (think about Kirsten Dunst all wet from the rain in the first Spider-Man flick) in this otherwise acceptable and diverting kid-oriented PG-rated movie revolving around the children of the Thunderbirds rescue team, some of them “blossoming” in their youth and being sweet on each other while trying to stop His Most Excellent Lordship Sir Knight Ben Kingsley (House of Sand and Fog, Sexy Beast), d/b/a The Hood, from using all the giant colorful futuristic rocket ships to steal stuff and generally fuck with Bill Paxton (Frailty, Club Dread), who’s supposed to be Jeff Tracy, the guy in charge of all the fun flying machines, only no English accent. So yeah, anyway, here’s a little note to director Jonathan Frakes (actor in television’s Star Trek: The Next Generation, director of Star Trek: Insurrection), when you’re putting a movie together, and you’ve got kids under 18 in puppy-love romantical situations, make sure these children are appropriately costumed for a movie based on a frickin’ kids teevee show that starred puppets, OK?

E-mail Joe MacLeod

Comments powered by Disqus
CP on Facebook
CP on Twitter