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Ice Cube used to be tha you-know-what-that-begins-with-“N” Ya Love to Hate, but now he’s the rap star turned actor-producer-director who Loves to Get Paid as he sells out—but in a good way, seriously—in the role of Nick, a successful small-business man who hasn’t settled down and is not about havin’ no children in his life, but then he gets hit by cupid’s thunderbolt gazing at Suzanne (Nia Long), a smokin’ hot hottie who happens to be solo-raising two evil, hateful little nose-pickers from hell (Aleisha Allen and Philip Daniel Bolden) who put every man Mom dates to the test, because, you know, nobody’s better for Mom than Dad, even if he doesn’t live at home anymore. Little kids will laugh out loud at the moments of child-on-adult violence, à la the Home Alone series, and, well, yeah, it’s a heartwarming tale with some nice family moments in between the progressive demolition of a beautiful new SUV and one of the finest projectile-vomiting scenes ever. Also starring John Witherspoon as the voice of a talking Satchel Paige bobble-head doll and Jay Mohr as whatever—it doesn’t matter, because no matter what he does he just always looks like somebody you wanna punch in the fucking face.

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