Sucks. Yeah, that was easy. Seriously: sucks. Pacifier. More like Suckifier. Vin Diesel is the guy getting his house paid for with this one, playing a tough military guy who takes care of some kids who might hate him at first, but then of course things probably change, not to ruin it for you or anything. There’s one of those “Oh, look at the tough guy retching as he experiences a loaded diaper” scenes, but at least there isn’t a “Oh, ha-ha, the baby is peeing all over the man” scene, so hey, it doesn’t suck, it only kinda sucks. Also, Carol Kane (Ishtar, Scrooged, television’s Taxi) and Brad Garrett (television’s Everybody Loves Raymond) humiliate themselves, and a duck bites a man in the nuts.