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The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

By Joe MacLeod | Posted 5/4/2005

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Here at the Film Clips desk of Baltimore’s Hey-Couldja-Put-More-Buttery-Topping-on-That Alternative Weekly we take our responsibility to You, the Moviegoer, quite seriously as we endeavor to develop increasingly more effective ways to communicate to You, the Twizzlers Consumer, the relative artistic quality and entertainment value to be found in the current cinema. So look, if the following quotable, from the narration of the British film adaptation of the also-British teevee series adaptation of the British books that all started with the even more, and possibly Most British BBC radio presentation of the droll, science fictional, and way Brittainical The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy tickles you, then you need to be down in front for this flick. Here goes: Vogon poetry is, without a doubt, the third worst poetry in the known galaxy. The second worst poetry is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent, entitled Ode to a Small Piece of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning, four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging and the President of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobblng Council only survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. The very worst poetry in the galaxy was written by Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Greenbridge, Essex, England and was thankfully destroyed when the Earth was. Yeah, yeah, “haemorrhaging,” and lotsa jokes about bureaucracy; this is a British movie, OK? Anyway, there are lots of fun performances from the likes of Martin Freeman from the killer and British BBC series The Office, as an earthman displaced by the destruction of the planet to make way for a new space highway, plus Mos Def and Zooey Deschanel, and Sam Rockwell practically haemorrhages himself playing President of the Galaxy Zaphod Beeblebrox as kind of a cross between President of Earth George W. Bush and Owen Wilson, and perpetrator of one of the best pickup lines ever, to wit: “I’m from another planet. Seriously! You want to see my spaceship?”

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