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House of Wax

By Joe MacLeod | Posted 5/18/2005

Paris Hilton sucks, and she’s not much of an actress either, but she doesn’t get in the way of this not-remake of the 1953 horror classic where everybody does all the completely stupid things people in horror movies do when they are young and in rut and have car trouble in the middle of nowhere. Also doing no harm to their careers are Elisha Cuthbert (The Girl Next Door, Love Actually), who rocks her rack in the twin-barreled wifebeater look, and hunka burnin’ wax Chad Michael Murray (A Cinderella Story, TV’s One Tree Hill), who gets his shirt off quick. People are murdered graphically, with the Texas Chainsaw Massacre hillbilly-phobic flavor, lotsa stuff melts, and there really is a house of wax, but we’d be more entertained staring at a candle for an hour and a half.

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