Nick Cannon, what were you thinking? What was it about the role of Tracey Stokes, a walking stereotype of a young black man, that made you think, I want to get down with that? Surely it wasnít the kazillionth redux of Beverly Hills Copís street black man in a rich white world. It couldnít have been the 21 Jump Street shtick of Stokes going undercover at an affluent private school to investigate a studentís mysterious death. It mos def wasnít a big paycheck, not when Tapestry Films is only shelling out enough dinero to land Cheech Marin as your on-screen mentor-cum-captain. Please say it wasnít it just to get close to Puerto Rican hottie Roselyn Sanchez, the snooty schoolís Spanish teacher, who develops a borderline inappropriate relationship with the undercover student. Repeat, please say you didnít do it all for the nookieóbecause, even though shuffling and dancing is bad enough, the young African-American man as a slave to his dick is the one hateful nugget Underclassman didnít fumble through during its intolerable 95 minutes. Fire your agentótoday.