Get Rich Or Die Tryin’
50 Cent is a gangsta, or so he’s been telling us for years, but if you didn’t know, now you can check out Fiddy’s flick, named after the multiplatinum album that put him on the map as the baddest, meanest gangsta rapper ever to wear a Gucci gun holster. Well, kinda sorta. It’s like this: Fiddy (billed as Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson because he wants to be considered a real actor or some shit) plays Marcus, aka Young Caesar. The middle-school Marcus (the talented Marc John Jefferies) discovers his mom’s a drug dealer; later she gets killed, and he ends up living with grandparents and working for drug boss Majestic (Oz’s Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje). Marcus starts hustling coke and crack so hard he ends up buying a $58,000 Mercedes with a book bag full of cash—just like in real life, right? He eventually gets locked up and meets Bama (a scene-stealing Terrence Howard), who helps Marcus win a butt-naked jail-shower brawl the likes of which hasn’t been seen outside of gay porn, and offers to manage Young Caesar’s rap career when they get out. Caesar reunites with his childhood sweetheart and future babymomma Charlene (Antwone Fischer’s smoking-hot Joy Bryant) and eventually gets shot nine times and becomes a rapper who starts his career by ruining another. Again, just like real life, right? Surprisingly, Get Rich isn’t awful. Sure, it covers no new hip-hop flick ground, offers only minor insight into Fiddy’s meteoric rise, and he hides his virgin acting chops by staring at people a lot. There is, however, gonna be a cool drinking game born from this: Every time Marcus rocks a mustache, take a shot—no bullshit, in one scene his mustache disappears, like, four times. It’s awesome.