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Toby Keith: "Get Drunk and Be Somebody"

Toby Keith: "Get Drunk and Be Somebody"

Label:Show Dog Nashville/Universal
Release Date:2006

By Jess Harvell | Posted 4/19/2006

Let us now praise the most hateful man in popular music. Toby Keith makes it impossible for hipsters who are “getting into country music” to do so without squirming. Though on the back cover of his new White Trash With Money he sports a blinging pendant, he wouldn’t know hip-hop if it knocked off his hat. And it’s not just that his politics are vile, it’s that he’s, well, an asshole. A colossal pig. On “Runnin’ Block,” noble Toby gamely beds a larger lady so that his pal can have her skinny friend. He refers to his own conquest as a “jelly roll.” If you had to spend five minutes next to Toby Keith, you’d need a shower and about a dozen Hail Marys.

Unfortunately, Keith is incredibly good at what he does. Part of that is writing songs that conflate barroom justice with national policy and songs that dehumanize just about anyone who isn’t Toby Keith. (And it’s hard to take Keith’s love songs seriously because it’s hard to imagine fucking Toby Keith.) But, man, Toby Keith writes good bar songs. “Get Drunk and Be Somebody” could have been created on a computer fed instructions on what would best get people shouting along and sloshing beer. (And given the current conditions of Music Row, that’s not a bad guess.) It’s not quite to the level of Brad Paisley’s “Alcohol” or Keith’s own “Who’s Your Daddy”—to say nothing of “Friends in Low Places”—but to a nation of white guys with Hank Hill asses looking to wild out, Keith is still the reigning champ of drunken pricks.

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