The Short List
THURSDAY: Tim Kaye, Heroin U.K., Romaine, Telekinesis for Cats, and Bad Liquor Pond form a pig-pile at the Talking Head. No Allegiance hosts a hip-hop showcase at Sonar. The Genders confuse the Sidebar with the Tombs, National Razor, Thee Lexington Arrows, and Make Way. Mess Up the Mess and Lemonface pucker up at the Black Cat. Fancy-ass fiddler Hilary Hahn plays a concert at Zion Lutheran Church, celebrating its 250th anniversary. A holiday event in the grand tradition of deep-fried turducken fires and vomiting on oneself at the office Christmas party, it’s a John Waters Christmas with Trixie Little and the Evil Hate Monkey and Lobsterboy at Washington’s 9:30 Club.
FRIDAY: All Spank Rock wants for Christmas is for you to put that pussy on him at the Talking Head with Leslie and the Ly’s, Peelander Z, and the Death Set. Old punks scale things down a bit, as Joe Lally of Fugazi, Don Zientara of Down by Law, and Human Bell hit the True Vine. Aligning Minds, Pilot, Platoon and Friends, the Luinissinfes, and Tryst are all part of the Tribe Productions Fashion Show pre-party on Sonar’s club stage, which has, like, fashion shit going on, too, if that’s your thing. Plunge falls into Towson’s Recher Theatre with Fools and Horses. Only the five remaining ska fans in North America knew the Pietasters were still together, but they skank into the Sidebar with the Fun Junkies, Megadosage, the Stabones, and Tenwatch. Basshound and Written Prisms play the Eight by Ten Club.
SATURDAY: It’s Christmas Eve, so stay home, break out your Rudy Ray Moore This Ain’t No White Christmas LP, drink some eggnog, and celebrate in a suitably nondenominational manner.
SUNDAY: So, yeah, it’s Christmas, but if you’re an atheist, agnostic, Jewish, member of any other possible religion, or just a damn, dirty hippie, go see Hasidic reggae sensation Matisyahu at the 9:30 Club.
MONDAY: Sparkle Motion doubts your commitment to the Charm City Art Space and incredibly lame movie references. Nothing says post-Christmas belt-loosening like the lumbering fuckers in Clutch with Hidden Hand, Fireball Ministry and Woolly Mammoth at the 9:30 Club.
TUESDAY: Charly Horse pulls itself—sorry—at the Ottobar with the Know How and Mr. Difficult. It’s a night of hardcore and, uh, folk at Charm City Art Space with Hop Along Queen Ansleis, Dragonzord, Counterfeit Matt, and Down in the Dumps. The Wailers, or some form of them anyway, come to the concrete jungle of Towson with Soldiers of Jah Army at the Recher Theatre. The charmingly named the Twats and the phlegmatically named the Aks hack up a hairball at the Black Cat.
WEDNESDAY: Say howdy to 2006 a few days early with the geriatric funk of Mr. Star Time, James Brown, and the kings of go-go, Chuck Brown and the Soul Searchers, sharing the stage at the 9:30 Club.
IN THE WINGS: The Toronto kraut-hoppers (and erstwhile ex-Anti-Pop Consortium backer-uppers) in the Holy Fuck bring their hypnotic Casio-core to the Talking Head Jan. 5 with the gentle moping lope of B-more’s Metal Hearts and Jacksing Baddabing. (For more info call  962-5588 or visit www.talkingheadclub.com.) We’re not exactly sure what separates a Robert Pollard solo show from a Guided by Voices show—considering the “solo” albums sound exactly the same as the GBV albums—but you can find out at Washington’s 9:30 Club on Jan. 28. (For more info call  393-0930, or visit www.930.com.) Brooklyn, N.Y.’s finest Bruce Springsteen/Spoonie Gee tribute band, the Hold Steady, mouths off at Washington’s Black Cat Feb. 1 with Swearing at Motorists and Plastic Constellations. (For more info call  667-7960 or visit www.blackcatdc.com.)
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