WEDNESDAY: If you're anything like us (OK, me), Christmastime can be more about guilt, God, and heating bills than cheer, so "A Soulful Christmas" featuring Gerald Albright, Howard Hewett, Nick Colionne, Victoria White, and a foliage-lit drive down to Alexandria, Va.'s Birchmere sounds like a promising quick fix. Or back in Baltimore, Steven Kellogg and the Sixers dish perfectly nonoffensive pop-folk with the Alternate Routes at the 8X10.
THURSDAY: Sure, in theory, Morrissey is supposed to make you cry in bed, or at least pick up smoking and a stash of black clothing, but dude probably did a whole lot more to get you laid, no? What will a few songs of drunken Smiths/Morrissey karaoke do for you tonight at the Ottobar? Probably none of the above. By the by, Baltimore bookers, Thanksgiving was last Thursday.
FRIDAY: If you're all a-twitter and can't figure out why, it's because the British Invasion is coming-the entire fucking thing: a dude from the Moody Blues, a dude from Herman's Hermits, and a couple of other dudes. And they're all at the Lyric. Amazing. The Jennifers, making pop tunes as sturdy as they come, hit the Lo-Fi Social Club with Sonic Cheetahs of Death and Impossible Hair and House of Fire. What are you, nuts? Didn't we tell you about tonight's M.I.A. show like a week ago, and you still don't have tickets? Run, don't walk. If all's right with the world, this lineup including DJ Blaqstarr, Cobra Krames, and Chris O, should've sold out Sonar by the time you read this. On the other side of the club, some version of the Misfits pretends said band actually exists without Glenn Danzig. Congrats to the Brutal Dildos; they've successfully offended us by their name. Come be offended-or perhaps titillated-by their show at the Sidebar with Mean Streets, National Razor, and the Living Wrecks. Fun fact: "Psychobilly" music occurs in Denmark. Who'd a thunk, but Nekromantix gives us proof at the Ottobar with the Chop Tops, Koffin Kats, Junkrod Joe, and the Cadillac Hearse.
SATURDAY: 7 Door Sedan cruises on up from Silver Spring to the Sidebar for a fine time of indie arty fun at the Sidebar with the Rambling Shadows and Rustbuckit, which will hopefully make the trip. Redman sparks and flows at Sonar with Minlus and McCracken, Planet SB, and Only. The Traumas feed you your own ears at Lo-Fi with Dorsal Fink starting off the night. Dark Star Orchestra, which is to the Grateful Dead as Civil War re-enactors are to, well, the Civil War, keeps the flame alive at the 9:30 Club in Washington.
SUNDAY: Somehow we feel better living in a world where a band can call itself Bonerama. Give thanks to them at 8X10 with the Blue Sky Traffic. The walls of the Depot get a good test tonight at Are We Not Men?! with Brooklyn spaz wonder Japanther taking to the wet, sticky floor.
MONDAY: Good God is "screamo," like, the next nü-metal. You can't throw a stone without hitting some dude still sore from howling away the prior night about his ex-girlfriend and less-than-perfect upbringing. At least try to aim away from the Ottobar where From Autumn to Ashes, Villa Vina, Summer so Far, and the Kindness of Strangers all take the stage. You can't really grasp how hype laptop-mash dude OCDJ is until you see him live, preferably in a packed, hot room. It kinda makes you want to get naked. He opens at Talking Head with Gil Mantera's Party Dream, Entertainment System, and Ineveryroom.
TUESDAY: Spitalfield, a not-all-that-bad emo-ish type of rock band, makes one of the last stops of its nine-year career at the Ottobar with the Forecast, the Graduate, and Attention opening the night.
IN THE WINGS: Dillinger Escape Plan gives it another go at the Ottobar on Dec. 13 after canceling last month's Baltimore appearance. (For more information call  662-0069 or visit www.theottobar.com.) Still chugging through their second life, the Lemonheads play Washington's Black Cat on Dec. 19. (For more information call  667-7960 or visit www.blackcatdc.com.) And for more show previews, reviews, and any other music info fit to print online, check out City Paper's music blog Noise at noise.citypaper.com.
812 Park Ave.
Baltimore, MD 21201