WEDNESDAY: DJ Action Pat shows off his latest vinyl scores at Joe Squared. College funk favorite the Bridge, releasing a brand spankin' new album tonight, is at Rams Head Live with Ekoostic Hookah. King Khan & BBQ Show, a kinda shticky duo that nonetheless makes real good times with blues-parody garage rock, fires up the grill at Sonar with Hollywood, Jacuzzi Boys, and Sick Sick Birds.
THURSDAY: Mmmmmmmm . . . pie.
FRIDAY: The late aughties spate of classic bands playing classic albums just got that much more awesome with one of our dream hypotheticals coming true within an hour drive of Baltimore: That's right, They Might Be Giants doing Flood at Washington's 9:30 Club. You know the words. Extreme awesome power metal outfit Dragonforce reigns over Rams Head Live with Turisas and Powerglove. Hawthorne Heights, a whatever-rock band whose popularity causes the Short List an occasional stabbing head pain, is at Towson's Recher Theatre with guilty-by-association openers Emery, the Color Fred, Tickle Me Pink, and the Mile After. Kix descendents the Blues Vultures land at Sonar with Block Funksion, the I Don't Cares, Panacea, and Tomorrow the World. 81RD5T0CK takes over the Talking Head with a chiptune--video game music, to you--xtrvagan3a featuring bands Animal Style, Constipation Man, Starscream, and the Megadrives. Washington punk outfit the Splints get into your bones at the Sidebar with IdleMinds, and Paper Tongue. Beatbox wonder Bow Legged Gorilla headlines the Windup Space with Avocado Happy Hour and Holy Ghost.
SATURDAY: Some combination of Jack Wright, sax improv old-schooler extraordinaire, acoustic bassist Ben Wright, percussionist Paul Neidhardt, and local fridge-raiding electronics improviser Tom Boram collaborate at the Red Room at Normals Books and Records. At the Golden West, Jason Willett, specializing in a loose genre we'll just call "weird stuff you can't help but lose your shit and dance to," DJs one of the Short List's new favorite dance parties. Baltimore "emocore" expat Bleed the Dream is at the Ottobar with When Gotham Falls, Burn the Fields, the Perfects, and Fall Back Plan. Go-Go godfather Chuck Brown gives Annapolis' Rams Head Tavern a damn good reason to bust out with a dancefloor. Baltimore soul-rock institution the All Mighty Senators are at the Recher Theatre with the Kelly Bell Band and Jah Works. The Cheaters, a kind of classic heavy-rock outfit from Annapolis, play the 8X10 with David Andrew Smith and Lower Class Citizen. Full band in tow, jazz vocalist Georgene Fountain performs at An die Musik.
SUNDAY: Q-Tip--c'mon, you know Q-Tip--is at the 9:30 Club with the Cool Kids and Pacific Division for something called the 2KSports Bounce Tour, which presumably has something to do with video games. The Medic Droid, a shticky, horribly unfunny duo making awful derivative pop-punk with a synthesizer, gives you a really good reason to avoid the Ottobar tonight; Hyper Crush, Chronic Future, and Arden probably don't help. Indianapolis doom metal outfit Gates of Slumber keeps your Sunday unholy at the Talking Head with Demiricous, Strong Intention, and Fierce Allegiance.
MONDAY: Knit a sweater?
TUESDAY: Bleary-eyed rap forces of nature Method Man and Redman, rescheduled from last month's cancelled show, perform at Sonar with Termanology, Little Brother's Big Pooh, and DJ P-Funk.
WEDNESDAY: The horned beast that is Job for a Cowboy brings a little bit o' Hades to the Ottobar with Hate Eternal, All Shall Perish, Animosity, and Annotations of an Autopsy. Arbouretum side-project Television Hill is at the Talking Head with No Neck Blues Band side project D. Charles Speer.
IN THE WINGS: The annual Baltimore Bass Connection Christmas party goes down Dec. 23 at Sonar with Spank Rock, Plastic Little, Ninjasonik, Po Po, Devlin and Darko, XXXChange, Si Young, DJ Teenwolf, Cullen Stalin, DJ Hoff, Flufftronix--pause for breath--Dirtyfinger, Hip Hop Dan, and Adam Gonzo. (For more information visit sonarbaltimore.com or call  783-7888.)
812 Park Ave.
Baltimore, MD 21201