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The Nose

Chasing Amy

Posted 2/4/2009

The Nose thought it had sniffed out a story a couple of weekends ago, landing an interview with Amy Fisher at her exotic dance debut at Scores here in Charm City. We've all done things we regret, so we hoped the Long Island Lolita might be able to impart a lesson or two in taking lemons and making lemonade. Or something.

On the day we were scheduled to meet, we called Lou, her manager, husband and sometime co-star, to see where he wanted to get together. Seems he'd already set up an exclusive with In Touch Weekly, and neither he nor Ms. Fisher were allowed to talk to anyone else.

"It's like a gag order," Lou explained. "They paid us a lot of money--we'd be crazy not to take it."

How much money, we wondered.

"What are you, nuts?" Lou asked. "I'm not telling you that."

Whatever the amount, The Nose's interview budget probably couldn't match it. We had a couple of bucks, though, so we headed down to Scores for the midnight show.

While we waited for Amy, we struck up a conversation with one of the regular dancers, and asked how Amy had done the night before. Not well, apparently.

"She didn't know what she was doing up there," our new friend told us. "Tonight was better, though--she didn't fall."

When Amy made her entrance, she wore a rhinestone pants-and-top ensemble, but not for very long. She didn't fall. She made a few turns around the stage, to the strains of "Night Fever" by the Bee Gees. A young man with glasses and an Afro shouted "Hey Amy!" and lobbed a fistful of ones at her, which an assistant picked up as she made her exit.

The MC announced that she would be signing autographs by the side stage and the Nose got in line. At the head of the line we faced a large, silver-haired gentleman. We asked the price of an autograph, and the hint of Long Island in the answer was instantly recognizable.

"Pictures are $15," Lou answered, "T-shirts are $25."

The Nose's interview budget sadly exhausted, we made our excuses and left.

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