Sure, Joe MacLeod. Whatever helps get you through the day.
So what's the matter, Joe MacLeod? Was Daddy a boozer who left early and no one loves you like your mama did? Is that why you crave so much attention? No, no. I got it. You grew up completely unoriginal and middle-class with career parents who had no time for you and you felt stuck in that awful feeling of wanting to rebel but having no one to rebel against since you are the status quo. Hence we have the unfortunately trite persona of the apathetic American male who takes such great pride in being overpaid and underworked. He doesn't give a damn. He doesn't care who knows it. And everyone should love him for it. The consummate slacker who takes every opportunity to point out how well he's working the System . . . until the System works him.
Actually, Joe MacLeod, I'm happy to provide you with a point. I didn't even realize at the time that I was when I was writing my "hot little missive," which was, in fact, praising another writer on your staff.
To be honest, you were an afterthought, Joe MacLeod. And if that deflates your apathetic male ego too much, then please feel free to print my name a few more times, and please contribute each 68-cent donation to your therapist.
Hey, Joe MacLeod. Guess what? You suck. You get kinda defensive when people try to criticize your work, don't you? I mean, I tend to agree with Emily Leffler, and I don't think either of us are haters because you get paid to write insipid, pointless, juvenile crap. I think we both are amazed that you have the audacity even to think of putting a pen to paper (or whatever your medium of choice is for your hackwork). I mean, shit, if you're gonna do your job, do it well. You'd probably make a good trashman, or maybe a high school guidance counselor, because you sure as shit aren't a good writer. Joe, better quit your day job.
Your Oct. 10 piece is a great case in point. You want to attack Emily Leffler, so you spend half your column devoted to "getting back to normal." Gee whiz, haven't heard anything that original since, well, fuck, The View this week! Amazing segue into your point-perfect critique of Ms. Leffler's critique of you--succinct, well thought out, a true Mr. Wrong classic. You called her "mewling"? Just because she said you suck? Joe, she wasn't whining at all--she just said you suck. Does that truth hurt? Get over it. Put the pen down, step away from the desk, and nobody else gets hurt.
By the way, CP, if you are hiring any doof off the street to write for you, call me. You've got my number.
Emily Leffler is entitled to her own opinion. You really make yourself look like you are from Baltimore. What a disgrace to all the decent people who live there. Maybe be open-minded next time, you khaki-wearing boy.
And that was rather tacky and unprofessional printing how much you make for an article. You should prolly start sending those résumés to McDonald's. You may get some respect there.
Thinking Inside the Box
I'm writing to complain about Joe MacLeod's treatment of the fans of Homicide: Life on the Street (Television, Oct. 17).
Yes, the Kyle Krewe site may be extreme, but it is designed by a friend of mine in parody of a few seriously scary Kyle Secor fan sites that shall remain nameless. I don't understand how you could mistake the Kyle Krewe for a serious site!
As for directly comparing that site with the slash fanfic sites, that was grossly unfair. The slash sites I assume you are referring to are not typical of the tastes of most Homicide fans. In fact, most of the fans I know, in person or via the Net, are actually anti-slash, myself and the author of the Kyle Krewe site included. We have actually been personally attacked on various lists and boards for daring to write nonslash Homicide fanfic. So, as you can imagine, she is rather upset by your blind comparisons.
Neither are we all just, and I quote, "A bunch of people who communicate via the Internet through mail groups and sites such as the Waterfront Bar, the Box, and, uh, the Krewe of Kyle. Regardez the Kyle Secor Parade of Hairstyles." If you have ever been a fan of anything, you will know that there is more to it than that. Especially if, as most Homicide fans feel, you have been treated unfairly as a group. This, it seems, is a tradition that you seem hellbent on carrying on.
I doubt that you would think about treating Star Trek fans in this way. (By the way, they are known as "Trekkers," not "Trekkies"--they tend to get very annoyed by the use of the latter term.) If you did, I imagine all hell would break loose. Instead, you pick on what you think are relatively harmless Homicide fans.
So, I make a suggestion. Contact the organizers of a HomiCon and arrange to tag along. All in the interest of journalistic accuracy, you understand. Give the Homicide fans a chance to defend themselves. After all, what have they ever done to you?
Plymouth, United Kingdom
Joe MacLeod responds: OK. So I don't screw up again: Is it "Homiciders" or "Homicidies"?
A Matter of Life and Death
My uncle was Dr. Barnett Slepian ("Choose or Lose," Oct. 3 ). The third anniversary of his death was Oct. 23, 2001. My father and I miss him very much. Our family is devastated by this horrible, senseless crime. James Kopp, the suspected killer, believed in life but is charged with taking a life. To murder someone for what is right is incomprehensible.
Abortion is a legal procedure. Women have the right to choose. The FBI has assured our family that Mr. Kopp will be returned to the United States. [Editor's note: Kopp was arrested earlier this year in France, where he remains in custody.] The United States is seeking his extradition. When he comes back, he deserves to spend the rest of his life in prison. My Aunt Lynne has no husband, and my cousins have no father.
Correction: Malik Yusef should have been credited for the photograph of Labtekwon in last week's No Cover.
Editor's note: Don't look for Theater or Gallery in this week's paper--you won't find them. Arts editor Lee Gardner, drunk with his moderate amount of power, has renamed those two sections Stage and Art, for reasons that actually make a good deal of thematic sense. You'll just have to take our word for it.
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