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Ooh, Scary!

Halloween Masks V

THE THING WITH ONE ARM

Every year it slouches a little closer, and many Baltimoreans shudder at the thought of the slot machine's clammy grip on our city's soft, quivering flesh. On the other hand, some denizens of the City That Wants to Gamble Real Bad will be very happy to see you if you wear this mask.

DOWNLOAD MASK

ILL WIND

Hey, sometimes the TV weather nerds are right to freak out for a week. Hurricane Isabel made us all too aware that sometimes the wet spot in our pants isn't simply from spending too much time on bar stools in Fells Point. (This mask is scarier the closer you live to the water.)

DOWNLOAD MASK

BRIDE OF EHRLICH

Don't be fooled by that pleasant First Lady exterior. Beneath that tasteful coiffure lurks the calculating brain of an assassin, as Kendal Ehrlich revealed when she told a conference on domestic violence, "If I had an opportunity to shoot Britney Spears, I think I would." Britney had better watch her ass. And so had Republicans who were betting on Gov. Robert Ehrlich having a big future in national politics.

DOWNLOAD MASK

IT ATE BALTIMORE (ON SMALL PLATES)

Little, salty, expensive, everywhere--tapas, the food trend other cities already forgot. Order the squid and spend eternity chewing. Of course, you will be vampire-proof thanks to all the garlic. (This mask is most likely to frighten those of us who worry that we will pay too much and not get enough to eat.)

DOWNLOAD MASK

NIGHTMARE ON RUSSELL STREET

What's so scary about Ravens' quarterback Kyle Boller? Taking a snap in a purple jersey is like signing up to be the slutty girl in a slasher movie.

DOWNLOAD MASK

IT CAME FROM NEW YORK II

. . . and it will probably go back there real soon. (That's Baltimore Police Commissioner Kevin Clark, in case you haven't heard of him.)

DOWNLOAD MASK

HOMICIDE-AL MANIAC

If he isn't stopped, writer/television producer David Simon will portray your neighborhood as a gritty, urban war zone where life is hard and crime is rampant. Of course, it probably is.

DOWNLOAD MASK

Posted 10/29/2003

Scare the bejeezus out of your friends and co-workers with our Halloween masks. Each mask can be downloaded in Adobe Acrobat format.

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Ooh, Scary (10/28/2009)
Son of the Return of the Incredible Halloween Masks, in 2-D

What the World Needs Now... (2/11/2009)
City Paper's Second-Annual Reader Valentines

What the World Needs Now...Part 2 (2/11/2009)
City Paper's Second-Annual Reader Valentines

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Ooh, Scary! : Halloween Masks VI: A New Beginning 10/26/2005

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