For What Ales Ya
City Paper’s Third Annual Search For the Coldest Beer in Baltimore
Sure, taking the temperature of beer is better than digging ditches, but it isn’t all glamour. We had to fight the crowds in Fells Point and watch college students dry-hump each other in Govans. People asked us to take their temperatures, unfazed by our food thermometers, sharp enough to pierce their uvulas. We hung out in places that smelled like vomit, feet, and despair, and neighborhood bars where old men drink 9 to 5. We drank warm Pabst Blue Ribbon in dirty glasses, people tried to fence us stolen goods (including diabetes testers), and we drank more bath-water-warm Bud Lights than we care to recall.
But it was all worth it, because after weeks of testing so questionably scientific that it would bring a Johns Hopkins researcher to tears, we have found the coldest beer in Baltimore. Congratulations to Butts and Betty’s Tavern. After placing dead last in 2003 and climbing to third place in 2004, the Butchers Hill bar took the prize with a frigid 30.4-degree Bud Light. Now that’s what we call a comeback. The Talking Head also made an amazing turnaround, from a last-place finish in 2004 with a frightfully tepid 58.9-degree PBR to coming in 22.9 degrees cooler at No. 21 this year. But our Mover of the Year award goes to Peter’s Pour House, which leapt up the list 89 spots from 95 in 2004 to No. 6 in 2005. Still, not all of the changes were for the better: Nick’s Fish House, despite a gorgeous view, dropped 73 rungs from 8 to 81. And after a long and close battle for last place, Golden West Café’s new bar served us a balmy 59.2-degree Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.
The list below tells you which local bars serve beer so cold your tongue will stick to the glass and which ones are more likely to give you heatstroke. Happy drinking, and if anyone offers you a hot diabetes tester, tell ’em you’ll pass, thanks.
*Happy Hour Special **Monday through Thursday Special
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Parks and Rec (5/19/2010)
Stay Frosty : The City Paper I-Team once again searches for the coldest beer in Baltimore 5/20/2009
In Our Cups : The City Paper I-Team on the Coldest Beer In Baltimore. 5/23/2007
Freezy Freaky : City Paper’s Fourth Annual Search for the Coldest Beer in Baltimore 5/24/2006
Cooler Than Thou : City Paper's Second Annual Search for the Coldest Beer in Town 5/26/2004
Drunk by Degrees : City Paper's Hard-Drinking I-Team Goes in Search of the Coldest Beer in Town 5/21/2003
812 Park Ave.
Baltimore, MD 21201