Holiday Guide 2009

Every Christmas Story Ever Told (and Then Some!), 8 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays, 2 p.m. Sundays Nov. 21-29, Cultural Arts Center, 15 W. Patrick St., Frederick, (301) 662-4190, frederickartscouncil.org, $15, children and students $10. The Fredericktowne Players perform every classic with Gossip Girl-like inclusion of cultural references, from ancient history to Balloon Boy.

Teddy Roosevelt and the Ghostly Mistletoe, 11 a.m., 1:30 and 5 p.m. Saturdays, 1:30 and 4 p.m. Sundays Dec. 5-30, Kennedy Center, 2700 F. St. NW, Washington, (202) 467-4600, kennedy-center.org, $18. Fictional, zany antics unfold when Teddy Roosevelt refuses to set up a Christmas tree in the White House. We know Alice Roosevelt Longworth would surely never stand for her old man's chicanery.

A Christmas Carol, 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, 2 and 7:30 p.m. Saturday, 1 and 6:30 p.m. Sunday Dec. 8-13, Lyric Opera House, 140 W. Mount Royal Ave., (800) 745-3000, lyricoperahouse.com, $17.50-$57.50. F. Murray Abraham, Timothy Hutton (!), Stockard Channing (!!), Wayne Knight, George Wendt, and James Garner star in this classic tale.

Santaland Diaries, Dec. 8-20, CenterStage, 700 N. Calvert St., (410) 332-0033, centerstage.org, $25-$35. David Sedaris brought his trademark wickedly deadpan humor to his own story, adapted for the stage by Joe Mantello, of donning tights to play a Macy's elf named Crumpet. Starring Robert Dorfman.

MobTV's Holiday Screening Bash, 8 p.m. Dec. 11, Creative Alliance at the Patterson, 3134 Eastern Ave., (410) 276-1651, creativealliance.org, $7, members $5. Get your fix of wacky, indie shorts from MobTV--the only antidote to those nightly feel-good holiday Hallmark movies.

Hack and Slash Christmas Carol, 8 p.m. Saturday, 2 p.m. Sunday Dec. 12-13, Chesapeake Arts Center, 194 Hammonds Lane, Brooklyn Park, (410) 636-6597, hackandslash.com, $29-$50. Have you had it with a digitally animated, Jim Carrey-voiced Scrooge? Us too. Let Hack and Slash take out collective aggression in this zany comedy that skewers as much as it praises the classic.

The Stoop Extreme Holiday Show, 7 p.m. Dec. 14, CenterStage, 700 N. Calvert St., (410) 332-0033, stoopstorytelling.com, $20. Seven Baltimoreans tell their comic/tragic tales from their best and worst holidays. Caleb Stine and the Brakemen, Ellen Cherry, Arty Hill, and Baltimore City College Choir provide a live soundtrack.

Radio City Christmas Spectacular starring the Rockettes, 4 and 7 p.m. Dec. 17, 1st Mariner Arena, 201 W. Baltimore St., (410) 347-2006, baltimorearena.com, $25-$101. Red-sequin-bedecked professional kickers shimmy, shake, and dance into the holiday season in New York's traveling show.

A Christmas Carol, 7:30 p.m. Friday, 2 and 7:30 p.m. Saturday, 2 p.m. Sunday Dec. 18-20, Weinberg Center for the Arts, 20 W. Patrick St., Frederick, (301) 600-2835, weinbergcenter.org, $22, seniors and students $20, children $11. Ol' Ebeneezer takes to the stage in a classic re-telling of the Christmas potboiler.

Trixie Little & Monkey's Holiday Spectac-U-Thon, 7 and 10 p.m. Dec. 19, Creative Alliance at the Patterson, 3134 Eastern Ave., (410) 276-1651, creativealliance.org, $18, members $16. Hometown burlesque heroes Trixie Little and Evil Hate Monkey present their fifth annual holiday-themed mystery showcase featuring devilish and sensual acrobatics.

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